Prolonged eye contact, smiling = flirting. Remember this formula and you have gone a long way towards knowing the secrets of flirting.
If I were to expand the process to five steps, I would express it thusly:
1. Make eye contact.
Holding another person's gaze sends a powerful message that you are interested in him or her.
2. Smile.
Smiling is the best way to communicate friendliness and self-confidence--two qualities which are seen as sexy by the opposite gender.
3. Use an opening line.
By the way, opening lines don't have to be smug or flippant. In fact, researchers have found that the simple, straightforward approach is best.
The most straightforward opening line is simply, "Hi."
Another option is, "I feel a little embarrassed about this, but I’d like to meet you."
Do not however, constantly pester someone for days after they have turned you down. This is a turn off.
4. Expand the conversation by telling a little about yourself.
Something as simple as "I'm new to this area and I thought I would try a different restaurant" can work.
5. Encourage the other person to open up and to really talk about him or herself, and what ever interests he or she has.
Most importantly, put the other person on a pedestal. Make him or her feel important. Give him or her your undivided attention and ask questions.
A tip given by university psychiatrist Danilo Ponce is to pay compliments—and make them personal. "Don't compliment a woman’s earrings—compliment her beautiful smile," he says.
Of course, appearing graceful and relaxed, as in every social interaction, is of utmost importance in flirting.
As you can see, flirting is similar to other types of conversation, with the following differences:
1. Flirting is lighthearted. Jokes and humor are more common in this type of conversation than in others.
2. Flirting does not involve any "heavy" subjects. No politics, crime or other such topics here!
3. Intensity. while you are flirting with someone he or she is the most important person on earth for the time the two of you are together. You are oblivious to everything else. Your eyes never turned away from him or her. You find him or her utterly fascinating for the time you are together. So you can see that flirting is a more intense form a conversation than ordinary conversation, and is a faster and surer way of communicating romantic interest.
Visit the Internet Shyness FAQ at
Shy FAQ to learn more about prolonged eye contact, smiling, and flirting, and also obtain a FREE ebook, How to Remember People's Names; the Master Key to Success and Popularity. Tim Arends also offers his complete overcoming shyness and popularity system at
Shy Facts
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